I've always said this blog is just my heart being expressed in print.
Today I find myself needing to really !! share my heart.
I'm admittingly having a tough day. Yes, we went to church and it was an awesome message and I did take notes and have re-read them. It's still a tough day.
Change is always difficult. Numerous changes are more difficult. Yes, change is good and God is walking with me the entire way. Yes, this disaster work is a calling from God and I am not second guessing any of that. It's just a tough day.
First, I have told you we are selling our home in Indiana. Even though I know this is God's direction and it's the right thing to do, it's tough. We aren't even able to make the trip home to go through our things deciding what to pack -- we can't even be there to pack it! The original plan was to use one of the spare bedrooms to store our things until we could get home, plans are sometimes made to be changed, and that was one of them. We are now relaying back and forth via telephone what stays as ours and what can either be sold at a garage sale, what can be sold outright to anyone interested and what can be donated to charity. Yes, it's just "stuff" -- but as we learn with disaster survivors -- it's "our" stuff and our lives. It's just tough having someone else do those things.
Second, we are in yet another transition into another organization, learning their ways and making those changes. Yes, those changes are few and they are thrilled to just have us "do what we do" but it's still change. Our location is changed, and will be changing again, the people we see on a daily basis have changed and life in general is just different. Yes, different can be good and can be just what we need -- it's still change. Yes, we are excited about all joining another group and continuing to help the people but it's still change.
Third, vehicle problems can be tough. Yes, we just picked up my truck from being in the shop all week for the fuel pump and problems that go along with that. I drove it one day. The temperature gauge is through the roof and we now discover there is at the least a hole in the radiator! We already have spent more than we have with the first repairs, and he gave us quite the deal. Now we are faced with something even bigger. I know it happens when vehicles get some age on them, they aren't much different than us people, it's still tough! You all know we survive purely on the donations of those who choose to support us and our ministry. Yes, those donations keep us going with daily life. This isn't daily life. No, I'm not asking for money. I am expressing my heart and truths of life out on the road.
Fourth, friends. Traveling as we do sometimes makes having them tough. Yes, I am friends with so many of the homeowners and we have thousands of volunteers who have become friends -- but -- the homeowners have their own difficulties and the volunteers come and go. Sometimes I long for a friend -- a real one -- to just talk about "things" with, one who really knows me and really cares. Yes, Jesus is my friend but I will admit that seeing Him, visually, would make it better sometimes! I think my dogs are tired of listening --even though they would never tell me!!
Fifth, changing churches isn't the easiest thing in the world either. Yes, we are welcomed here probably like noplace we have been before. The hugs and smiles are great, but it's still tough making the change.
Sixth, I miss my children and grandchildren! My granddaughter will turn 1 in a few days and once again, I won't be there. Yes, I'll get the gift in the mail but won't be able to see her open it. Selfish? Some might say so. Those "some" aren't here to fully understand! Do I have a multitude of other children here who don't have grandparents to love and I can help out with that -- of course -- but it's not the same!
Am I having a tough day? You bet!
Will it last? No it won't!
Will God take care of all these things? For sure!
It's still a tough day and I sure could use your prayer covering ramped up a bit more than normal!
Until next time . . .thanks for listening to my heart! Susan and Monty