I did not realize the beauty in Wisconsin! And to think that these waters freeze so hard and so deep that cars and trucks drive over them in the winter!!
Over the past couple of days we have tried to regain some sort of "normalcy" in our lives. Being back home brings a mixture of feelings.
Yesterday there was a fund raiser for Monty's uncle who is battling pancreatic cancer. There was an amazing turn out of people! It was a time to see friends and family that hadn't been seen in years. And yet there was that feeling that even though time seemed to stop for us it continued to roll on for everyone else. We weren't here when Larry was first diagnosed. We haven't been here for the other family get togethers. We have prayed, from a long distance, but haven't been a physical part of the family.
Today we were back in our home church. Yes, our church family and friends are there. Yes, it is wonderful to see them, to give and receive their hugs. But it feels different. They also have continued on with their lives. In one way we have missed so much. We don't know the details behind certain things, don't know the stories, don't even know some of the people. Our lives have been so very different and here we have no one who truly understands what our lives were like. Even though we are in the midst of family and friends again in some ways we feel very alone. It's kind of like time stopped with us but not for everyone else. Hard for you to understand? Even harder for us. I know it's just part of the decompression, part of returning to reality and something that will get better as time goes on. But . . . for now it's a feeling I'm not too partial of.
I do find myself just wanting to be at home and in God's word. I was looking through all our books just this afternoon trying to find something to study, something that I could pour myself into, something that would pour itself back into me. I didn't find it but I also didn't get to the bottom of the box I was looking in either. Maybe tomorrow.
Until then . . . Susan and Monty