Friday, October 05, 2007
Yes, we were all smiles when we were all together in Wisconsin last weekend. Whether it was our day trip on Steve and Carol's pontoon boat, visiting the Green Bay Packers Stadium or standing in back of Tony and Shirley's house, everything just seemed "right" when we were all together.
Over the past nearly 2 years now I have written from my heart. I plan on continuing to do so, even now. It's the only way I know how to write. It is actually a form of therapy for me and hopefully you will gain some understanding.
I have heard the word "decompression" many times but never really knew how it must feel. I think I am starting to learn. Bear with me as I "digress" and think back over things.
When I felt God's calling to go the the south and "help the people" it was the clearest thing I had ever heard. There was no question, there was really no decision to be made. It was just something I HAD to do. The details weren't spelled out, there was no book of "how to" but there was that knowing that God had called me and that was enough for both Monty and I. From that very day it began. We were constantly meeting people, hearing their stories, feeling their pain, seeing the loss. We were living it 24 hours a day 7 days a week. We operated on a level that neither of us had ever operated before. God supplied our energy, God supplied our strength, God supplied our compassion, God supplied our everything! We didn't take time to feel anything except what we felt for the people. When we pulled in to the parking lot of the church in Pascagoula it began. It continued there for 4 months and went with us when we pulled into another church parking lot in Gautier. It still continued with us as we pulled into the East side and 9th ward of New Orleans. We didn't have "time off" or "time away" as we did when we lived in the secular world. We lived where we worked and adapted to any and all living conditions no matter what they were. Living in 144 square feet of living space requires some adapting! :)
Over those 20 months we met thousands of people. We were continually in the public eye. We saw nothing but devastation, we felt the loss as if it were our own, it was our own! We welcomed team after team after team, people who would drive into the parking lot as strangers and leave less than a week later as family. We watched their lives change. We watched God move in and around and among them. We watched as their own families grew to include the homeowners in whose homes they had worked. Every day we saw miracles, every day we saw God moving, every day we were blessed. I find myself re-reading these words and realizing just how "small" they are in comparison to what God really did. And I also realize that unless you came, unless you experienced, you may have no idea what I am talking about.
Now comes the big question (for me anyway), how do I decompress from all of that emotion, from all of the physical, emotional, spiritual and psychological? How do I sort through all of that?
Please pray for me as I am finding this very difficult.
And thank you for the prayers for my daughter. The surgery went well and she is doing fine.
Until tomorrow . . . Susan and Monty